I think I just saw someone hide a body.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
