Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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