YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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