I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My life is pants optional.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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