I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
