There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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