Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Randomize
