Do you still have your period?
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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