The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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