I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
