we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
