i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
