Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
