I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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