The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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