Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
