u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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