this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
