Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
