he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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