Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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