I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Fuck appropriateness.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
