the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
