Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
