At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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