This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I think people are normalizing furries
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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