hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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