Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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