And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
