i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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