Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
