its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
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