I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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