my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
