He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
