plz talk dirty to me
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
well you can't waste a boner
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
