My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
