there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
