Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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