I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
