She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I have tasted many bathrooms
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
