are you so shy because you have an std?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
