Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
