my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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