Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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