Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
