I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
