Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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