im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
