At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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