He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
