This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
